How many dates with one person does it take for you to get laid?
I can get from match to date easily but I have trouble getting from the date to my bed. I just got out of a long term relationship and still new to dating. So far from bumble I've gone out with 2 girls (Sarah and Lisa).
With Sarah, we went out to a bar and date went well, I invited her back to my place and she said not on the first date. We made out at the end and set up a second. Second date went well at a bar. I invited her back and she said she wants to wait still but she wants another date. We made out again and she left. Third date is coming up but I'm taking her to the park this time cause the bar is too expensive.
With Lisa, I took her to the bar. Date went well and I invited her back to my place but she said she wants to get to know me more first. We made out at the end and she left. Second date is coming up at another bar.
Both times I had serious make out sessions with tongue and grabbing but they both want more dates first. How long does it take you guys?
15 Posts (+31), 492 Cmts (+149)
The problem is almost definitely with your profile/vibe on the date. I used to have the same issue, girls saw me as relationship material.
Slowly I changed things up and I'm much more direct and sexual starting with my profile and messaging and continuing on to the date. Now it's almost always first date lays from online.
What things did you change?
I have the shirtless pic as my main profile pic. I have great cuddler in my bio. When I message I try not to come off too sexual. I've had some of that backfire where the girl doesn't respond.
So I say I like their style. And ask about them. And say let's swap numbers and set up a romantic date to grab a drink š. And then during the date I play tap them and they touch me and at the end of the night we make out hard core with tongue and it's arousing. Just weird they don't come back. Granted it's only 2 girls sample size but still. Even if they think I'm bf material you'd think they'd still wanna have sex?
5 Posts (+2), 372 Cmts (+206)
True facts that don't make sense to you yet: It's easier to have sex on the first date than the second. Bf material doesn't get sex, it's withheld to keep you keen while you develop feels and your capacity to pay for things is checked.
Stop having second dates at bars, you know that's going to end in disappointment. If she won't come straight to yours, cut it off.
15 Posts (+31), 492 Cmts (+149)
That seems promising but we'd have to see your profile to verify the vibe you're givng off.
1-2. The only way I'm going on a 3rd w/o getting laid is if my dick was in her mouth on the 2nd.
Idk your living situation but use logistics in your favor. Like I lived downtown in a pretty central location for the past few years. I would always schedule my bar dates 1-2 blocks from my apartment. I move girls a lot. We start out at bar A then go to B, but my apartment just so happens to be in the middle. "Oh no I have to piss real quick, here's my apt, just come up real quick". Now she just accidentally ended up at your place. Inviting her back to your place directly puts a lot more pressure on her.
I like that approach. I can definitely see how inviting them back puts too much pressure on them and they turn it down. I mentioned something along the lines of this to my friend and he said I'd be like the candy van guy if I do that, so I didn't. But if it works for you then I should try it. I also live downtown so this is perfect. Does this work more than it fails?
So like okay you say come inside quick while I take a piss. Then you piss and then you just go for the kiss when you get out of the bathroom? And then proceed from there? Do you throw on music or a movie or something while you run to the bathroom? Or crack open a white claw or anything?
Has the girl ever said no to coming in while you use the bathroom? Or have they ever came in but not let you make advancements? Did you ever take anyone to bar 2?
Yeah the great thing about game is that there is a lot of universal/foundational principles that work for everyone. But there are also of a lot of situational moves that just depend on your overall game/skill level. My best advice to a newbie is find out the things that work best for YOU and your current understanding/level of game.
Generally the vibe is pretty fun/flirty after the first bar, so them just coming upstairs real quick isn't a big deal. When you get into your place give her a quick tour. Make her feel at home. Have a nice boose selection and always offer a drink. Going for a kiss is really situationally dependent and I certainly don't do it willy nilly.
The great thing about being downtown is that you have a lot of flexibility. If it isn't game on right away, take your piss, have a drink and take her to the next bar. The fact that she was in your badass downtown apartment builds a huge level of comfort moving forward for the rest of the night. I also stack my bars in order of escalation. Like the first bar is always a pretty chill/quiet lounge type where we can shoot the shit and vibe. Bar 2 is always a more high energy environment. Not necessarily a night club, but live music or dance floor is preferred. This allows you to move things forward physically. Grabbing her hand/taking her for a quick dance/getting close face to face because that's the only way to hear each other over the music. All of this will build sexual tension.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Typically takes me one date, sometimes two. But, I probably sexualize more than you do over text. Also, here's a tip for bringing girls back to your place. Don't just say "Hey, you wanna come back to your place?". Instead, just lead them to your place without saying anything while maintaining conversation. If the girl asks where we're going, I say "Somewhere romantic". Works like a charm
28 Posts (+2), 62 Cmts (+8)
I like that. Is it better to try and get a make out session in first after the bar, before you bring her back, to set the mood? Or save that for when you get her to your place?
21 Posts (+8), 174 Cmts (+37)
Good question. I have done both. If you don't have that level of escalation in the bar, then when/if she comes to your place it will certainly happen. Some girls don't want to kiss in a public space, are shy, etc...