How do I deal with a girl who recently broke up with her ex-boyfriend?

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J

4 Posts (+2)

6 Cmts (+2)

J

4 Posts (+2), 6 Cmts (+2)

I met a girl through a close mutual friend at a nightclub. We got on quite well, but there wasn't nothing that much flirting because she was with her boyfriend. A week later, she follows me on Instagram out of the blue, and the mutual friend tells me she broke up with her boyfriend and asked him if I was single. She then liked me on hinge, so I then decided to slide into her dms. We had a short friendly conversation and she asked me to go on a date with her when she was back in town.

We went on a the date and it went ok, we got on well but for the most part it wasn't that flirty. This girl is quite introverted, quite hard to read and has got her shit together. She's also a year into her first big corporate job at some fancy firm and I'm literally a student who just graduated (albeit with a good degree) but just started jobhunting. so I decided to play it safe, and didn't risk making any overly gamey jokes or references.

As we left the bar I could tell she was hanging around for a bit, we made out for a bit, and then I proposed going back to mine to smoke some weed. She said she could only come for an hour because she had work the next day. We got back to mine played some music, laid on my bed kissing for most of it, and both got quite stoned. I was down to have sex, but in my opinion it would have felt super rushed cos we only had an hour and there wouldn't have been a proper escalation. She then said she had to leave cos she had work but said she found me sexy and wished she could have stayed for longer. However, our mutual friend was throwing a party 2 days later and she said she'd see me there.

I walked into the house party with a big group and she was standing right at the door with a group of girls. As soon as she saw me she turned around, positioned herself away from me and avoided eye contact - instantly making it awkward. Couple hours go by and I didn't see her again, so I then went to find her and spoke to her for a bit. Things seemed fine, but she appeared a bit awkward talking to me; maybe because some of her work colleagues were there and they all know she's recently out of a relationship. The house-party was also 90% my friends and the only people she knew were those work colleagues.

Around midnight, she comes up to me and says she's going home, I walked her out and when we were outside I asked her if she wanted me to walk her home. She said she'd be fine and we made out for a bit but then she went home on her own.

The next day I go out for lunch with the mutual friend, and he said "She likes you but she thinks you want something serious, I told her you don't really care. But at the same time, she also says she doesn't want to get fucked over by you". He also said he was surprised that we didn't have sex after the first date.

This is what has confused me. From what he says, to me it sounds like she wanted to have sex when she came back to mine after the date. But at the same time, I'm also confused as to why she didn't ask me to come back with her after the house party. It also sounds like she's open to more than just hooking up cos of how he said she doesn't want to get fucked over. I basically don't really know what she wants from me, and don't really know how to deal with her. I definitely fancy her and she's the type of girl I could see myself dating, but would also be equally open to being just fuck buddies.

I then messaged her that same evening asking if she was gonna be free to do something again and the response was vague and a maybe (see attached image). At the moment, I think I'm going to wait it out and give her a couple of weeks before I try seeing her again. Maybe she needs a bit of time to herself having recently gotten out of a relationship. I have no idea what she thinks about me other than there's deffo some level of attraction.

But what do you guys think she wants from/ feels about me, and what do you guys think I should do?

Any help is much appreciated.

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avilench . Avatar

393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)

"Did I make you shy?". Yeah. It's a tough situation but also at the same time she doesn't seem quite interested in meeting up. I would maybe get back to bantering and building some investment before going for the meetup

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