How do I avoid catching feelings after a hookup?
5 Comments
5 Cmts
3y ago
After I’ve had a hookup especially if the girl was good looking and we had great chemistry I tend to catch feelings, to the point where I start to feel abit depressed.
It makes things worse because sometimes the girls are just the type for a one night stand so they see other guys too but then that triggers me? Whereas normally it wouldn’t.
I really want to continue on in game and I do enjoy it but I can’t deal with these feelings if I keep getting them.
Any tips on how to not catch feelings after I’ve hooked up or had a good time with the girl?
Thanks I appreciate any help!
39 Posts (+8), 697 Cmts (+226)
I advise you to not seek to control or avoid your feelings. They are there for a reason. It is your job to allow your feelings to come in, to be recognized and examined with curiosity and nonjudgement, and then to let them go. If you have feelings for one girl, it's because there is something there. That is a good thing. The problem is the need to control the outcome. You can have your feelings, without having a need to respond to them behaviorally. When you notice a bonding with a woman after sex, acknowledge it, and make plans to see her again. Do not reach out when you are in that excited state, but rather allow yourself the space to process how you feel. If you notice that this is happening with everyone you see, take time to examine your relationship with yourself. Is there a need that is unmet? Are you filling something with the affirmation of women? Are you addicted to the dopamine spikes of that attention? Ask this of yourself without judgement. This is how you grow
44 Posts (+21), 550 Cmts (+363)
Great response. Also I find it helps to remind myself of the reality of male female social dynamics, and how these remain true regardless of how I feel. Indifference is the most powerful force in the universe, aside from perhaps love. The ultimate in love is letting go and fully supporting that person to be who they are and have what they want in life. Easier said than practiced but just remembering this and acknowledging this is huge. And when you can get to that mental and emotional headspace, that's exactly the right time to reach out to her, if at all.
Practically, you can choose to act from a place of carefreeness. This is the one and only way you're gonna have these "ONS types" more into you than you are iinto them, and that's powerful. Hope This helps bro
12 Posts (+9), 229 Cmts (+105)
Didn't read this whole thing but yeah. You get attached because you want to get attached. That probably isn't very helpful but it is the truth. You're searching for something. Face your fears g, thats my advice...
2 Posts (+0), 4 Cmts (+0)
I get what your saying but I don’t mind catching feelings for a good girl, but I’m talking about those one night stand type girls who also see other guys on the side.
I don’t like catching feelings for those types of girls because they aren’t serious and we aren’t going to get into a faithful relationship anyway. So wanted to know if there was a way i could avoid that.
Thanks for the help though will definitely take what you said into mind
12 Posts (+9), 229 Cmts (+105)
Yeah read/study the bible g (any major religious text really). You feel that way because you choose/want to feel that way. Its as easy as flipping a switch believe it or not. But the sooner you believe it the sooner it will be...
Ps: helpful tip is that you already know what you have to do. I would suspect (could be very wrong) that you deep down know you should tell these girls exactly what you've said here or sum similar but you don't want to come off a certain way/ experience the negative "emotion" associated with it. Doing whatever that it is you know you should do but wont is the key, i think...