Having trouble getting the girl to fall in my frame for the date
So the back story is, I met this girl from a cold approach at a night club. We bantered for about a good 20 minutes and than made out with each other. I set up a date with her during the cold approach to have a glass of wine the next day before I ended up leaving the set. I texted her the next day and tried confirming for the date. When I tried going for the date she gave me resistance. I probably should have pushed and challenged her frame but I didn’t know how without coming off as needy. I than tried setting up other times with her and she kept giving me resistance. The last form of resistance she gave me was she was taking a break from men because she got out of a shitty relationship which I didn’t know how to respond to because Alex never gave a response to this type of objection. I remember Alex said when getting the girl to fall in your frame you have to get her to question her assumption, but I didn’t know how to do that since she already gave me a solid reason of why she couldn’t meet. My first question is did I come off to pushy trying to get the meet up, did I need to pull back more? Another question I had was, how can I get her to fall in my frame at this point without coming off pushy or try hard, because I don’t what else to say. And my last question was when you set a date with them in person do you skip the banter and having to soft close stage and just get the point or do you have to go through that all over again through text?
so I do think I would have pivoted a bit more after 1st or 2nd attempt and used the "give me some of the basics" line.
I also hate the talk about your job to be honest. If you don't think it will help you then don't bring it up (transitioning jobs doing delivery is something I would avoid saying like the plague).
a better line in general when asked about your job would be "Well by day I'm in sales & about to start for a new company, but by night I am an aspiring world's greatest cuddler." Gets you into a sexual frame while answering the question in non descript way that doesn't make you sound not stable financially.
Also when she said "you tryna take me on a date huhh" I would have said back "Mhm, do you like red or white more?" Unless you didn't see her drink wine during the night game then you can just say "Mhm, do you like wine or just the (insert what she was drinking) you were sipping on last night."
Lastly you don't need to respond to every things she says or asks. Just pick one path and follow that thread. Focus on cutting down your text sizes. I am not sure it would have impacted this exchange but it can impact them in the future.










393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Hmm. This girl could just have had a series of bad relationships in recent past man
3 Posts (+0), 6 Cmts (+0)
So there’s no way I can turn it around with out coming off to pushy? It doesn’t make any logical since, I made out with her right before I got her number lol