So I found a couple nights ago that I’ve creeped some girls out. I never flirted with them, I never said anything offensive to them, they just naturally find me creepy. It could be that I’m an energetic person not sure but this got to me. I’ve tried talking to girls and had taken L’s but yet I still feel anxiety all the time and can never keep trying to lead sexual engagement in a conversation. After hearing I creep some girls out, I wonder if I should even keep going forward. What should I do? How can I kill this anxiety once and for all and finally feel confident to talk to girls and go somewhere with it?
15 Posts (+3), 479 Cmts (+240)
This has all been in person or over text/dating apps? If it's the latter, post some screen shots of conversations.
32 Posts (+21), 576 Cmts (+276)
buddy this is not about any "girl". This is about you.
Like if a girl thought you were a ballerina, would you start worrying? start changing course, try to do something different etc? no right? cause you aint nothing close to a ballerina and you aint no creep either I hope lol. What you think about yourself matters more than anything else. So its either you really think you are a creep or you dont. If you dont. then there is no longer an issue. If you do, well you have to do things you think are not creepy I guess and own it.
Look at JAL. Dude is off the rails, says he DJ for places he never did, put Harvard as his tinder, bangs transformers, I think he claims to make $300k on youtube a month lol some may think thats weird/creepy af, nonetheless he gets laid. As he clearly doesn't think he is weird/creepy thats why he does the things he does.
So idk what you did, to me it sounds like you're unsure of yourself. if you want our perspective on if what you did was creepy or not, feel free to write what happened. but at the end of the day, its what you think that matters.
44 Posts (+21), 550 Cmts (+363)
100% this, and sounds like you have inner work to do.
The #1 thing I am sensing here is do you have a giving vibe or a taking vibe, are you in a competitive frame (you admit high anxiety) or a collaborative frame.
Go on YouTube and watch every Owen Cook & Julien video on competitive vs collaborative frame, there's at least a few on there. That's a good starting point.
Assume the world can read your thoughts like a scrolling led screen across your chest. If you could imagine reading that screen as a 3rd party woman acquaintance, would you be creeped out? If the answer is even slightly yes, dive into that - now you know what inner work to focus on.