Girl only makes out with guys she has feelings for. Was she still dtf?

7 Comments
7 Cmts
B

12 Posts (+7)

36 Cmts (+8)

B

12 Posts (+7), 36 Cmts (+8)

Title says it.

Context: had date with cute american-born Indian girl. She's basically been sheltered her whole life by her parents. She's about to be 22, just had her first drink few months ago, couldn't watch movies at home, etc. She moved out 6 months ago. She works in tech.

Had boba date with her (she didn't want alcohol/wine as the date). Escalated with leading, going for walk, went to rooftop on my apartment, then to my apartment to watch Harry Potter. She is Harry Potter fan girl. Movie choice was a mistake because she actually wanted to watch every second of it. Slowly escalating physically, cuddling, etc. Then go for kiss, she denies it. Says she doesn't like kissing unless she has feelings for someone. I persist couple times to no avail. We watch rest of movie, more cuddling.

At the end of it we still cuddle for few minutes, now she's on top of me. I go for kiss again and she only wants to do peck kisses, no open mouth/wet kisses, basically not making out. I ask again why and she says same reason and also that she only just moved out a few months ago and doesn't have experience. She hasn't had a relationship before. After a couple minutes we leave and I drop her off.

I'm texting her after and she's down to have 2nd date, we're figuring out logistics. She also said she's surprised I am still texting her after the kiss thing.

Could I have resolved some concern here? Is it anti-slut defense or is she just really innocent from being sheltered? Could she have still been down for sex without making out? Is that even a thing

0
O

20 Posts (+26), 146 Cmts (+86)

The other comenter's reply is good. I would word it a little differently though: "well i go on dates with zero expectations and we had fun, thats what matters. We are never gonna do something you are not comfortable with" or something like that. I don't like the whole consent line personally but it will probably work also.

3
H

15 Posts (+3), 479 Cmts (+240)

Agree. She’s definitely just inexperienced/not confident and most likely a virgin. Probably just needs more reassurance and for you to guide her.

0
O

20 Posts (+26), 146 Cmts (+86)

Ye I would ask her about her experiences when it comes up organically. You need to know what you are working with. Depending on what she says you might need to build lots of comfort first.

0
Utsav Biswas Avatar

6 Posts (+5), 960 Cmts (+749)

Well as an Indian myself most of the Indians girls in abroad are gonna be conservative and I believe she is a Virgin and the best reply would be something that shows u are interested about her not only for sex but as a person to vibe with so maybe u can use this " well I go on dates with zero expectations doesn't matter to me if we kiss or not have sex or not , the chemistry , ur comfortness and consent matters to me the most"

2
L

44 Posts (+21), 550 Cmts (+363)

This is good minus the word consent. Do not use that word. Obviously consent is important and essential, but if you use that word you're literally gonna trigger even more ASD than already exists.

2
Utsav Biswas Avatar

6 Posts (+5), 960 Cmts (+749)

Well one time i was sexting a girl and she said something like supposed am naked infront of you what will you do ? I replied something sexual i dont remember it nnow and she replied what about my consent? After that she blocked me so that's why i mentioned consent here

1
B

12 Posts (+7), 36 Cmts (+8)

Thanks man that line sounds pretty good

0
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