Fucked up a DTF lay :(
I had a stressful day at work. I just wanted to sleep and not go out but this girl started giving IOIs.
Said she's going out, I thought I'd meet her outside but I had no energy or motivation to go out only to get this girl.
She starts hitting me up, I jumped the boat and invited her over and it went sideways.
I want to know
- How and where Alex would've sent different messages
- Do you punish noncompliance when she seems DTF
- Should I've pushed it further that night.
- Should I have sext here? Which message did I exactly fucked up.
- What to do next? I was going to send 'Wow, your friends really don't want you to be eaten out?' or 'Keep up this attitude, its just adding to your spankings'
I remember Alex's youtube video where he said if she's dtf you should make it happen or some other guy would fuck her so I was just trying to get her over.
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0 Posts (+0), 2 Cmts (+1)
When she said her friends took her phone you should have went along with that story. When she said her friends took her phone you could have made a joke "Guess I sounded mad thirsty" and picked up the conversation to building rapport sporadically then waited till the next day to continue texting. The fact that she said she was going out with her friends and you decided to ask her to come through at the beginning showed that you were not listening. She was busy that night, should have tried to go for a date close after building comfort.
Stop being sexual. She doesn't like it. "Someone took her phone and wrote those sexual messages". Act like it was true, even if it wasn't, and assume that she's back in comfort mode. She likes your looks now she wants to see that you're a chill dude. Go back to comfort.
To answer the questions:
- Has nothing to do with Alex. You can't just plug in these types of messages and not read what the girl is writing. You have to pay attention and calibrate. She's busy with her friends? Hmm, maybe we should plan for another day. Her friend took her phone? Hmm might be so let's just roll with it and talk normally.
- She's not DTF it's her friend. Remember? Even if it's fake/shit test you play along with it. That's called calibration. Go back to comfort building, skip the romantic balcony shit if you dont even have one, and get to know her. Then go for the date close. If you're still matched with her and she didn't unmatch, you still have another chance.
- NO. You should have taken several steps back!
- You fucked up when you went sexual when she said it was her friend. You also didn't pay attention when she said she was hanging out with her friends and invited her to come through. Back it up brother, more sexual talk will only make you look like a creepo
- Nope nope nope nope nope stop with the sexual messages just stop and bring it back to comfort.
You're right, I missed the obvious signs she was with friends and should've just planned or the next day date. Gotta read the messages before jumping on it.
Thanks!
She's still there, didn't unmatch.
Should I start over again with
'Seems like someone had an interesting night?' or 'Still hungover?' or 'Hey trouble'
I don't know if I should apologize and start the conversation again or just ignore it like it never happened.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Never appologize, at least not in text game with girls youve never met. Like I said in my response, I think this one is super dead because of the loss of value. You could attempt to say something like "sorry my friends took my phone and got a bit thirsty". But youre gonna have to rebuild a lot of lost value
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
First of all, if I wasn't feeling it I would not bother trying to meet up with any chick. That being said, the overall vibe here is "thirsty" kind of like shes dangling a carrot and your chasing after it (no offense). That's not a good dynamic to be in and one you should always avoid.
In addition, I don't think she was nearly dtf as you think, this really reads like a chick who's drunk and fucking around with her friends. Taking her seriously at that point is also a bad move, a much better strategy is either to troll back or ignore and message back a different night.
Let's break this down a little more. Your text game was solid up until you said "your adorable. I got....". That was basically jumping the gun and skipping steps. You always want to soft close first, before going for the hard close. I personally would have responded with "Well, it would be fun to give you a good hard cuddling". Then let her respond to that and then go for the soft close.
After she said "well see boy" i probably would have responded "boy?" but not resonding was also fine so she starts to chase you here a little bit. I think everything through "raincheck" is genuine, then when she says "why don't you come through my place" is likely where the trolling begins, but that's not necessarily a bad thing as long as you don't jump on the bait which unfortunately you do. A much better response would have been "where do you live". It still gets the same point across but doesn't come off as thirsty and still reads like you are thinking about it. Saying "what's your address" reads like "Ok I'm 100% sold".
However, you really lost points when after she said "sorry my friends took my phone" you kept pushing for the meet, instead of realizing that you were being trolled. I can almost guarantee that they were all there together laughing at the conversation. A much better response would have been "oh damn I was already on fuck you street". Basically, playing along and trolling her back. At the end, she gave you a very condenscending "you wish my dear" because basically you lost an immense amount of value in her eyes by coming off so needy/thirsty. It's going to be really hard to salvadge this one after that. Personally, I would just learn the lesson and move on.