F.R. fail report left Hitachi Magic Wand Cordless at her place
11 Posts (+4), 4 Cmts (+1)
I'm a 23 yr old virgin still. Got this girls number off of tinder. She was average looking a little chubby did not brother me as I'm tired of being a virgin.
After getting the number took a while to get date as our schedules did not line up. I did the wine close at mine. Even though I'm still living with parents wanted her to agree to that first. Closer to day of date I made some shit up about how I have leak, dry wall damage, and potential mold and didn't want anyone over till fixed. This actually happened to my parents house a few months back and I had pics of it I sent to make it believable. Told her mold removers are booked up and it won't be fixed anytime soon. I then get her to suggest her place which is an hour and twenty away from me (I'm really tired of being a virgin) but I told her I'm 40min away. Since I'm driving that far I get her to agree to buy wine.
She reschedules twice I persist and 3rd reschedule works. She doesn't have time to buy wine so I buy on the way over. I drive over hour get to her place. In the plastic bag with wine I also bring my Hitachi Magic wand cordless I spent $170 on. But I keep the wand in the bag concealed as I take out the wine and while she is looking for stemware I covertly shove the wand in bag under her couch near front door. I guess I was thinking once clothes were off I'd bring it out and it wouldn't be as weird as me walking through the front door with wine in one hand and wand in the other lol.
We drink wine I show her some pics I got with my sony alpha camera from Yellowstone trip I went on week prior. I couldn't get pics to show for like 15 min because her laptop was a Mac lol. We we're talking the whole time cracking jokes every now and then. Just kept talking and talking lost track of time it had been an hour since I got there. finally start putting my hand on her leg intermitently then running hand up and down her leg she is receptive, start putting my hand on small of her back with my other hand simultaneasly rubbing her leg, she's receptive looks down sort of bites her lip. I'm doing all this escalation while keeping the conversation going and maintaining eye contact. But this is where I puss out, never felt a right moment to go for the kiss, plus I wasn't all that attracted to her. After 10 minutes of escalating with no kiss she gets up to go to bathroom. She comes out starts playing with her dogs I join in. It's at this point I hardcore DLV embarrass my self by giving a story of how I was a virgin til 19 and been with 4 women telling a little story about each encounter even though I'm actually still a virgin. We we're talking about sexual topics beforehand. I had these stories in case she asked. But she never asked in the first place.
She responds with "wow can't believe you've only been with 4 women"
I pussily reply "ugh is it that surprising?"
she says "yea-well I guess not so surprising."
This makes me feel like a pussy. After going on about that I then sit back on couch. I wait expectingly for her to sit back next to me without asking, she does. I slowly start escalating again this time like 20 minutes with no kiss. She's making sexual inuendos I just chuckle passively not adding in any of my own like a pussy. She hints that she's tired I'm probably tired and I might want to sleep over, again chuckle passively like a pussy. At one point she leaned back exposing the bra under her crop top. I'm still sitting there just stroking my left hand up and down the small of her bare back and right hand up and down thigh still no kiss at this point. shortly after she hints that she gotta go to bed soon, she's gonna have to kick me out soon. We still sitting on the couch though her head is lowered onto my chest while I'm still just caressing back and leg keeping the conversation barely alive. She then gets up stretches said it was fun but she gotta wake up early but also says "I'll give you that kiss you've been dying for before you leave."
I walk out to my car we say our goodbyes she kisses me but I was in my head and also didn't realize how dry and sunburnt my lips were, the kiss sucked lol. She says text when ur home.
Halfway home I realized I left my Hitachi Magic wand cordless at her place under the couch. I panic at first then just start laughing my ass off at the ridiculous situation. First date strait to her place, could have popped my penis cherry, but fail to close and leave my sex toy behind lmfao. After I'm done crying from laughter I send her a text saying
"Made it home. It definitely wasn't on tonight, thanks for being polite about it."
"PS I left something behind. Try not to piss yourself when you find it š
š¤£"
She says "Good morning sorry I was passed out by the time you made it home I was very sleepy. That's what that bag is by the door haha I haven't looked in it š¤£"
We make plans for me to pic it up. A week later I pic up my sex toy that I've never used. I walk out the front door with my wand in hand both me and the Magic Wand still virgins.
As I'm exiting I say to the girl "sorry for wasting your time the other day"
She says "You didn't waste my time, I had fun"
I rely not addressing the comment "alright take care"
Next girl I'm with:
I won't talk for an hour without escalating with touch
Won't give my fake sexual past story unsolicited. Hell I might say 9 girls and I was 17yr old my first time if asked.
I'll make an effort at making sexual inuendos and kissing way sooner
I won't make up some elaborate strory of why she can't come over.
I'll simply say "I'm in between apartments right now. I'm crashing with Family for the time being."
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7 Posts (+0), 37 Cmts (+9)
I think we all learn more from our failures than our victories, and you've done a great recount of everything that went down that night! So learn from your mistakes but don't beat yourself up for it.
About being a virgin: There's one useful rule from Rollo Tomassi (we all know some of his rules are BS, but some are good) and it's something in the lines of "never tell women your body count". I agree with that because it tends to work against you more than in your favor, regardless of the answer. Haven't slept with too many women (or zero)? "you must be a pussy/failure//loser/unattractive." Have slept with too many women? "you must be a manwhore/fuckboy/player". So if/when asked, that's my answer: "I don't like that question, so I don't ask it either. I don't want to be judged or judge you based on the answer. I'm here with you right now, so my attention is on you, at this moment". If they insist for an answer, I explain my rationale. If they keep pushing, I answer "less than 50".
On sexual escalation: begin touch as soon as possible. Go for a hug when first meeting the girl, if she acts weird about it then go for a high five or a hand shake. Below I'm going to put examples of how I physically escalate (in that order, but it's all context dependent and also in response to how she may touch me. I start at whatever level she's touched me.
Shoulder-to-shoulder lean (don't be bumping her hard, just a slow, firm sideway press).
Use the back of your hand (not your palm) to touch her in the arm/shoulder to emphasize points or grab her attention. Then use your palm to touch her shoulders/elbows.
Use sideway booty bumps to flirt / tease her if you're at a bar, or a line of some sort.
Touch / briefly caress her upper back.
Glide through her lower back.
Squeeze the thigh above the knee (to tickle).
Kiss her hand in the cheesy, "chivalrous romantic" way if the situation calls for it, and if you can both get some sort of laugh at you doing so (context-dependent)
Kiss her on the cheek.
Use triangular gazing (look at her eye, lip, eye, slowly, deliberately). If she mirrors the look, slowly go for the kiss. Upper lip, lower lip, slowly.
Be aware of how she touches you and how she responds to your touch. Two steps forward, one step back. Glide your hands through her body, through her thighs, ass, boobs (just glide, don't grope). Tease the shit out of her, make out a lot, keep gliding, keep touching. Be completely unafraid of taking off your shirt, and help her off hers.
I can keep going but I think you get the gist.
EDIT: In general, come up with whatever excuses you can to initiate touch, and also set up the environment to make touching easier / inevitable. Never sit in front of her at a table, sit side-to-side so you can occasionally touch leg-to-leg or do brief shoulder leans. Challenge her to thumbwrestling matches, or do stuff that's contextually playful and reasonably acceptable.
307 Posts (+139), 379 Cmts (+32)
Bro you sound lazy in all of this. You went out of your way to drive that distance to not be hungry at all for your dessert. It all starts with your own horniness. You gotta be hungry for it. The girl will feel that energy. If you ain't aroused, it's gonna be hard to get yourself excited to want to move it forward. I think that's what happened here. You had your lack of attraction & hence lack of arousal combined with your desire to lose your virginity that were competing with each other & hence your lack of attraction and arousal winning since it didn't drive you to do anything or elicit any excitement in your body to want to just pounce on your prey & close.
11 Posts (+4), 4 Cmts (+1)
Thanks, I definitely see what you mean. I have okay photos, I just need to take Alex's advice and get pro photos and a haircut/loose the glasses. Then I'll get matches I'm more excited about, instead of average chubby or fat chicks.