Did you meet your IRL male friends through girls?
In most places I've been I've met my male friends through dating, for example that a girlfriend or casual relatinoship has allowed me to meet other couples. This is a pretty good way of meeting male friends as the fact that they are in a girls friend circle usually mean they are high value. I know that sounds shallow, but I just can't handle any more lazy gamer friends.
But nowadays I'm in a many years relationship (RIP) in a country I don't know many people. but my GF doesn't want me to join her friends circle. If I bring it up she thinks its weird and tries to shame me for not having friends.
This is my main reason for plotting to break up with her when I'm ready, as I really do think that it's a vital part of a relationship.
The other less rational and more emotional thing is that there has been some incidents where her (female) friends are treating me like the 3rd wheel which is surprisingly hurtful. I'm feeling like I'm the unpopular loser who's trying to fit in with the cool people, even though if I had been single I would be with girls way hotter than them.
I don't even understand why her friends acted that way. It could be that it's all my GF's fault, that they are just picking up on the vibe that she started, but it hurts me to think that it's also possible they think I'm lame. Ofc reading this thread you'll probably assume that I've come off as super desperate and clingy, but quite the opposite I feel like I've played my cards perfectly.
52 Posts (+30), 190 Cmts (+99)
Nah man I’m going to go with your first guess. You’re either so hot shit you come off as arrogant ..or you’re clueless to the little value you bring to a social circle. The fact that you meet men through girls sounds like the lather. That’s female behavior.
You meet high value men through your daily grind. If you’re high value enough you’ll attract dudes who want “the same thing as you” but aren’t putting in the work. Then you’ll identify the guys putting in the work and they’ll allow you in their space if they feel you have value to add, consistently.
Your girl clearly doesn’t want to risk losing her friends for you.
I guarantee if you were hilarious her friends would demand she brings you every time. Hilarious and attractive? Her Friends would be texting you.
If her friends wanted a guy like you they would be dying to hear your opinion on their relationship or dates. Find lower value women who will look up to you or increase your value.
Sounds like you should be single now because you’re too comfortable with this treatment.
1 Post (+1), 18 Cmts (-1)
Ok thanks for your input. I'm open to that being true, but it feels strange, hopefully it will all make sense some day.
it's real hard to meet HVM through my daily grind though, but I'll keep trying
52 Posts (+30), 190 Cmts (+99)
Imagine the man you want to be and what he does when he’s not chasing money or tail. Put yourself in those situations more often and don’t show up anywhere just being a sponge, be ready to speak up and offer something that may benefit others. Basically learn to be a leader both in and out of work. Leaders relate to other leaders and you’ll soon make connections when someone feels in debt to the value/knowledge you provided them.
That’s why I’m here. I have a business to run but I still feel I should contribute to any of the questions I can that Alex misses because of all the value he’s given for free on YouTube. I’m close to a handful of respectable men I’ve met through personal development groups (masterminds, meetups and Facebook groups) as well as hardcore athletic activities like Competitive Races, and lastly some of my own competitors in business.
This forum could be considered an Avenue as well so stick around. I’m sure we could make a weekly or monthly zoom of the most active dudes on here sharing something of value they learned from PWF or not and applied it in real life.
You DONT want to get lost in just hanging around with people though. If you hang it’s you both doing something as a team towards a goal but none these top men just sit around smoking/drinking and talking shit about people. They utilize each other’s time to optimize their life like working out together, learning together, etc. The only time you might see them hang around like normal people is if it’s to make another person happy which is why I discouraged meeting men through girlfriends.
Good luck bro it’s a long race but you got what it takes