Hello PWF, let me introduce myself. I already know my game is awful. My SMV isn't holding me back as much as my mediocre real life game but my awful text game really kills me. Please criticize me, don't hold back. This is as far as I've got with a conversation on dating apps with a girl I was actually attracted to. I have gotten farther with others but its girls I wouldn't actually hook up with once I realize they don't really look like their pics
Please understand I am not particularly attached to this girl, its just that its pretty exemplary I think of what goes wrong in my text game habitually
Things I think went wrong:
1)when she asked why I was her type, I totally chickened out and went for a non-sexual answer, in general I have fears of coming off as sexual and its really hard to shake
2) WAY too invested, massive wall of text, idk, I just got really excited and seemed to have scared her off, and probably should have not messaged her on christmas like as if she was my gf or something (I have problems being needy)
things I'm not sure about
- How would I have sexualized this? Idk but I got vibes she was more sexual from her profile and I chickened out. I'm actually really kinky and dominant but have trouble getting this across.
2)what are some examples of things I can say to reignited this conversation? I feel like I overinvested and I should wait at least 2 weeks before texting again to negate needyness vibes and keep it simple, but not sure how I can recover after texting her like that.
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dont use so much emojis and try to avoid using 'sorry' in any context. did you do something wrong? are you a bad guy? why are you apologizing? dont overcomplicate things, short and direct and if she asks you multiple questions, dont answer them all, just pick the easiest one, in this case she asked you two. "why am i ur type" and "how was ur holidays" obviously "why am i ur type" actually advances the convo, while "how was ur holidays" is boring small talk.
4 Posts (+1), 18 Cmts (+11)
I didn't say sorry but I think you mean when I said I was called out, yeah I coulda held frame better. I've tweaked a lot since this convo with the advice here and have been sexually bantering 2 girls. For sure I took the "smooth, easy, safe" road and paid the price.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
1, theres many different things. for example when she said that thing about harry potter you could have said "well, i do like me a sexy nerd" and then 2, its likely done but you can try "are you always this talkative" you dont have to wait 2 weeks. 4-5 days is fine
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
props on the honest self analysis. I do agree with your two points. I would also add 2 more to the list. First off, you started justifying yourself when you asked "does that line work" i would have said "i guess we are about to find out" secondly, this conversation is just way to platonic nice guy. As you said you cannot be afraid to push it and be ballsy. Being to cautious and nice is a recipe for disaster is an ending of itself. Play around with being more polarizing. Say the shit that comes to your mind dont hold back. Its better to be rejected for being too sexual or aggressive, rather than being rejected for pussying out. The more you do this the easier it will get. I also had this problem in my late teens. I would constantly play it safe and pussy out. After a while, i rewired my brain and feeling the attention.
4 Posts (+1), 18 Cmts (+11)
Thanks Alex, I already tweaked a few things in my texting already and had a couple of more promising conversations, but I just wasn't really feeling into the girls as much. You raised some good points I hadn't considered.
I was thinking of this to kind of sexually segway with a few girls. Ask them what their New Years resolutions are, and then when I share mine I say a few DHVs but throw in "and giving into my inner kinky self, even bought some handcuffs" and go from there. For me that would seem calibrated enough, only problem is I've had a few girls not even respond to what are your new years goals because understandably its a boring question.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
yea man, that approach can work. I would only ask that question once the conversation is already goijng if she doesnt respond after a few days, you can always follow up with "don't think to hard now"
5 Posts (+0), 68 Cmts (+29)
Agreed, way too platonic here. Chicks usually have a high or flirty expectation after the 'can i be honest' line. A lot of guys would follow up with 'you're full of submissive energy', or if her profile gives off more good girl vibes sexualize more gradually with 'cute, curvy with a bit of a wild side'. If a girl asks you some form of how are you, say 'Good, just finished a big workout, looking nice and fit for our date'. Reengage with ryan gosling memes or 'dont be shy now'.
4 Posts (+1), 18 Cmts (+11)
I guess I suck at being calibrated, when I have gone sexual in the passed it's usually been way too over the top. I need to find a middle ground.
0 Posts (+0), 8 Cmts (+2)
Hey man, here is my feedback:
Good luck!
4 Posts (+1), 18 Cmts (+11)
Thank you, makes sense.