Complete dating newbie in desparate need of advise.
10 Posts (+3), 24 Cmts (+1)
I have what people would say, 0 experience in the dating world. I've been trying to get in, but that's a monumental task despite my best efforts.
I've had a single kiss at 26, and most matches die within 2-5 messages.
You are the average of the people you hang out with, so maybe you'll rub off on me.
I'm hoping that with a little help here I could see some success.
I'm getting a few more likes after going through the blueprint, but I only get girls that are older than me, obese, or clearly mentally unstable.
I get errors uploading the photos here. So I put them into a drive.
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1sudf6YPQ2o0kvB6DFdCSJnOhRcIpw6xE?usp=sharing
Also in there is a typical text conversation for me.
I do not vet that hard sexually. I don't care to have sex on the first date or be casual.
You're a decent looking guy. You seem active, and into activities a lot of ladies enjoy. If you're 26 and short of confidence with women at the moment, you're better off trying to meet them in person. Online can be a downer, and if you aren't confident, chicks will see through it.
Gaining some experience will make you more confident, and have you talking to higher quality women than the ones you match with. Practice keeping eye contact with cute servers/cashiers and so on. Start striking up small talk with some of them. Build up your confidence.
Bro, first off, you got everything you need - I can tell your character is legit. So this will be easy. Second off, I used to get the same types of matches and trust me, you just need better photos, and to conceal your value a little better. Here we go:
- You must get a good headshot of you looking sideways with a subtle smirk or anything not directly looking at the camera with a smile.
- Also, remove "looking for a relationship." It puts you in a box full of clingy wieners even though you're a legit guy (unless your photos are brad pitt quality).
- only provide info that trolls getting a response from the girl, you should seriously google "how to write click bait" because we're literally manufacturing "chick bait" (has that been coined yet?)
- tighten up your photos, try and tell a story, starting with less emotion, and build it up into a funny photo where they learn more about you and what you do.
- if you aren't a dead sexy guy, don't try and text like a dead sexy guy. this is a very surface game based around your photos, try and instead qualify them
- try and master closing a date within a few messages max
- silence is my crowbar tool, if you aren't effectively using silence between messages, you will not last with these girls. I can afford to not respond because I'm busy with other matches/life
- if necessary, set a timer on your phone and write out your response on in a note
- ask "wanna meet sometime?" remember, girls want dates, not texts. A common thing I do is say "hi :)" wait two days and say "hey [girls name here] :) just checking in, wanna meet sometime?"
- never type out "what's your number" i say "what your #" - if they say "not sure" I'll hit them with silence and make them fear I've bounced. Again, silence is a beast, be very careful with it because girls can O.D. on your attention and become fiends if you wax on/wax off correctly.
10 Posts (+3), 24 Cmts (+1)
There's a lot of good stuff here, thanks. The only thing is closing soon. That has only really worked once for me. Every other time, I get left on read or stood up (3 times since January). They go through with agreeing a date and place, the day comes, and poof. I know that probably means I need to get more investment from them earlier on, but still a bit skeptical that it could work for me.
Also, get their phone number, never make plans on the app (she be like “oops! No notifications on the app, sorryyyyyyy). And once you setup the date, say I’ll text you an hour before in case anything comes up. Then, don’t respond until day of saying, “hey just letting you know I’m still good to meet! I’ll let you know if I’m running behind, otherwise see you there”
Yo, this one costs extra, u better write this down cus I don’t let those magic phrases go out to just anyone ;P bread and butter sir
Getting put on read is great- I usually hit them with “hey (her name) :) just checking in - did you still want to meet sometime?” This just happened to me and I didn’t even ask for her number she gave it to me. Again, photos are crucial, they make 99% of this possible. I had another girl say “maybe” to wanting to meet and I just said “let’s do something outside, what your #” and out popped the number. Another girl I asked for number and she said “you think I’m that easy” and I gave her a day then said “but what if we have the best time ever?” Not the best response but she replied and I said “if you want a break from life and wanna have fun let’s grab a quick bite or drink” and then poof I leave it at that. I’m constantly putting her in a position to choose. In sales it’s called urgency, which just means “is now a good time to solve X problem?” And u gotta remember, these girls are on this app to get laid. They were at home horny and said fuck it. I am a damn service provider. Get those photos up, make yourself look like u won’t suck in bed, and report back with phone numbers, cus texting doesn’t get any easier haha. Actually it does, but the games just get harder to solve, but much less energy investment once texting. The app requires way more mental thought. Texting is just getting her to meet up and avoiding pitfalls like “meet me with my girlfriends in the club!” kinda stuff.
23 Posts (+4), 187 Cmts (+71)
For my advice I’ll go in order I see the pictures: (bike) I’d recommend you retake this one while you’re in the middle of riding, that’s what I did for my profile. (Three lightbulbs) i don’t like this one because it looks posed to me. (Group 1) remove this one for two reasons; Group photos are not needed to do well & this picture doesn’t portray you in a good light. (Taco) very close to liking this one in my opinion, if you were just not looking at the camera as you apply the limòn. (Group 2) remove & see again reason on group 1. (Wanna build a snow pillar) it’s posed but it shows you out there doing something, I say keep it
10 Posts (+3), 24 Cmts (+1)
I wish I could retake that photo. I'll have to wait for fall to get that same one. Think it could be kept if it's not the primary? A biking action one is doable, just not with the good camera. It can't track faces unfortunately.
Could you elaborate more on the group photo not painting me in a good light? I'm not disagreeing, but it seeing what you see could help me pick better photos.
Consider the rest retaken and removed. I was also iffy on them, but I have very few photos to begin with.
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Hey man. The pictures definitely need a lotta work. Don't worry. You're in the right place. But can you upload the interaction by separating the screenshots? I can't see it
10 Posts (+3), 24 Cmts (+1)
You should be able to zoom in, all the screenshots are full resolution
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
It's not zooming in bro. Like I said, please post individual screens for the interaction you posted
74 Posts (+15), 177 Cmts (+53)
1.Stop the double texting, one big text is better than 2 smaller ones.
2.Get a better first pic, this hunched over position is not doing you any favors, the quality is good, but the pose is bad, you should lean back and be more realxed.
3.You never went for a date, you just talk with her on and on, not hinting anything, like ''We could play some board games together while having a glass of wine or two, but only if you are cool enough ;)''
4.Just wait 2 days and reengage with ''Ah a woman of many words i see''