So, Alex made a video a while back broaching this subject. He outlined the “what” of backward rationalization but there isn’t much specific content on how to actually manage it when it happens.
So pretty straight-forward topic here. What is a good POA for managing and dealing with backward rationalization in order to salvage a situation and “get the date”?
https://www.playingfire.com/what-is-last-minute-resistance-and-how-to-overcome-it/
5 Posts (+1), 8 Cmts (+1)
Thanks for this bro. I hadn't seen this blog post before but this is about dealing with LMR. I can see why it wasn't clear from what I wrote above but I'm talking about what you do when you've gone on the first date, sex didn't happen, backward rationalization IS happening...what do you do then to salvage the situation, try to get things back on track and secure a second date where you can hopefully rectify the situation.
Ah. The first thing to do is get out of this mindset. When you're applying this pressure internally, she's going to feel that energy from you. Sex is the culmination of you both having a good time and her feeling attracted to you and safe to be vulnerable. Focus on vibing with her right through to the end. Some girls legitimately won't smash on the first date, some lie about it. You have to judge for yourself what kind of girl she is. If she says no, be cool, play it off and keep having a good time. It'll get you further in the long run.
For your situation, how far along did you guys get? If you hooked up, still send "that was 🔥" and let her know you had a good time(subtext is not having sex didn't bother you), and get on to arranging date number 2. This is for right after the date, so if you didn't, just keep the convo warm, and sexually escalate in a calibrated manner. If she's into you, she'll play along
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Super confused by this question. What context are you talking about?
5 Posts (+1), 8 Cmts (+1)
So, it relates to this video you made about a year ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_hwwZpCiLI .
The specific context for me was, at the time, I entered what you defined as "the point of no return" in this video i.e. girl back at my place, on my bed, making out but when I tried to escalate she grabbed my hand and wouldn't let me go there. There had been a whole build-up before this where a 3-4 week long interaction had been extremely sexual only for her to show LMR on the day of the date and make it clear it wasn't going down. After saying that I hadn't go that impression from the conversation, I simply rationally validated it, told her there was no pressure and we'd just see how the chemistry was...
Anyway, when I posted this - having seen your video - I was sure that I was experiencing backward rationalization because she pulled back, her response times fell off a cliff from several per day to a pretty deliberate once a day thing over the holiday period and the actual conversations went from sexual and high-energy to pretty boring, mundane, logical friendzoney stuff. So the question I was asking above that you're confused by was - is there a way to manage/deal with backward rationalization after having hit the point of no return to get things back on track or are you basically fucked when she does this?
However...
The circumstances and therefore, in a sense, the question has changed since I posted this thread. I'll stop short of posting that to avoid further confusion, but I'm very keen to get your advice on how to deal with where I'm currently at with things having actually panned out a lot more positively than I was expecting since, but for now...as you asked, I just wanted to clarify my question seeing as you asked and in case anybody else would find the answer helpful.