A good friend of mine recently pointed out to me that there is something a lot of guys in the community struggle with, which I have just been taking for granted for years... And that is flirting. There is a lot of differing theories on this that I’ve read over the years and it is often portrayed to be something much more complex than it really is: Push pulls, witness disqualification, false DHV, buyer frame, making her qualify, the list goes on...And with all of this running through a beginner’s head, it is almost no wonder that many guys get overwhelmed and the conversation comes off forced and gamey. In this article, I’m going to lay out what I think are the keys to flirting with girls as simply and effortlessly as possible

First off, keep in mind that how receptive a girl is to your flirting, particularly in the beginning of the interaction, will depend on what she perceives your Sexual Market Value to be. For instance, a jacked well dressed good looking guy will magically find that a lot more girls are actively flirting back with him compared to a 130 lb weakling wearing clothes from high school. That is because his perceived SMV is higher.

However, perceived SMV isn’t static and fluctuates. So, if during the interaction, the 130 lb weakling has random people coming up to him and asking to take pics with him and it is “revealed” that he’s actually a celebrity or a tech billionaire, then his perceived SMV will take a big jump. Conversely, if the good looking body builder starts qualifying himself or does any number of low value things, then the opposite effect will happen

What does this mean for you?

You want to focus on maximizing your “inner” and “outer” SMV. That means get jacked, dress well, have a fresh hair cut and trim your facial hair. Look good and smell good. This way you maximize the ease with which girls will flirt with you and particularly initial reactions. This is also important, because it will allow you to build momentum easier. If girls are constantly smiling at you and eye fucking you, you will magically feel less shy and the approach anxiety will be severely diminished.

Ok, you look your best. What’s next?

A good way to think of game is like with sales. The number of sales you get will largely depend3 things:

A. The quality of the product compared to the others on the market (Inner + outer SMV). For instance, a white guy in South East Asia will get a lot more pussy than if he was living in the US, because a lot of asians are obsessed with western culture and thus “quality” is perceived to be better by some. And that he is more scarce in that market

B. Ability to communicate that value effectively (your game)

C. Number of qualified clients you come across (number of hot single girls you hit on)

Of course, there is a lot of other nuances that I could write a whole book about, but these 3 things are honestly the majority of it. In this article, we’re going to mainly focus on B... Game...Or your ability to build on and communicate value

The best way to paint a clear picture of what good game is and isn’t; is with an example and the best example I know (who is in the public light) is Hank Moody (played by David Duchovny) in the show Californication. If you haven’t, I highly recommend you check it out. In the mean time, here are 3 short clips that paint a clear picture of his game

https://youtu.be/zorEMHb3o0Y
https://youtu.be/p2S1qmGq6vI
https://youtu.be/I1lBf3sR5GI

Now that you have a mental image, it’s time to take a look at what the overarching takeaways are:

1. Being natural/smooth - The best game should really look like no game, atleast to the untrained eye. On the surface, it never looks like Hank is “running game”. He always looks very smooth, natural, and at ease. Like everything he says and does is part of his personality and just flows out. This is why I personally keep my game as simple as possible. If you watch me from a distance, I just look like a less charismatic version of that. It’s especially crucial for guys just starting out to not overcomplicate this shit and just really focus on mastering the basics (communicating intent, creating/maintaining sexual tension, teasing, calibrating, and escalating/closing) You can fuck more than your fair share of girls if you just know how to do these 5 things well.

2. Communicating intent - Despite being very lose and at ease, Hank always maintains a strong man to woman frame. At no point, could anyone possibly think that he’s getting friendzoned. This is done through confidence, being unfiltered (especially sexually). and being very unashamed of his work/actions. At no point is he ever “trying to play nice” with the girls. (He is a great example of how you can be a nice person without being a “nice guy”). Notice, how Hank prefers to communicating his intent more implicitly, but the intent is just as strong. He never goes full on PUA “You’re cute, wanted to meet you”. He’s a lot more smooth and socially calibrated. That should be your ultimate goal. I call it going semi-direct. That’s when you communicate your intent more subtly, rather than flat out stating it from the beginning. However, if you struggle with communicating your intent in the first place, it’s totally fine to just be direct while you’re improving. That’s the strategy I use for a long time and it obviously works

3. Being grounded - Notice how no matter what the girl says, Hank remains emotionally unaffected. He has a fuck boy grin and never gets too impressed or even triggered by a woman’s words or actions. It’s like he’s seen it all and done it all, and nothing can phase him. This is incredibly sexy to women and will come from experience. Practice just remaining unaffected no matter what women throw at you, whether it’s good or bad. She says “I love to suck cock”, you just smirk “Oh really?” in a calm collected voice. She says “How the fuck could you say that?” And you just respond “Just keeping it real with you, love” Also, with a smirk and a calm collected voice.

4. Being fun/“flirty” - Notice how Hank just has fun with his interactions. He is not taking the stuff women say too seriously or trying to be “Adult”. He’s just having fun with it and girls can pick up on it. That is not to say that you should be an “entertainer”. Far from it. Your goal isn’t to just amuse the girl and make her laugh. You’re funny, because you enjoy being funny, not because you’re trying to impress her. Also, notice how much Hank teases the girls. He is never afraid to poke fun at them and give them a little shit. And of course, there are few things girls love more than being teased

5. Being calibrated - Hank is always very socially aware/calibrated. This allows him to be sexual without ever creeping the girls out. He knows when to crack jokes, when to be more seductive, and when to take a step back. You can see a clear example of this in the second video. After he brushes past her vagina, he realizes that he’s starting to go “too far, too fast” and pulls back a little. Instead of making more sexual inferences, or being physical, he falls back to genuine compliments and flattery. He dials back his humor a bit and it works quite well

Hopefully by now, you are starting to get a better idea of how attractive men behave and what “flirting” really is. A lot of guys in the pickup community really try to overcomplicate it, but if you focus on these fundamentals, you will have much better success. If you have any questions or would like me to explain anything in here some more, don’t hesitate to ask