Girl and I matched on tinder a week and a half ago before July 4, tried getting her out immediately but for some reason that didn’t work. Distracted me with an unprompted nude that night lol. Have been trying to get her out after sexting but to no avail, even with another unprompted nude sent. Then on Fri I tried to actually set plans in motion but no response. Frustrating to say the least. Stuck on whether to use “don’t be shy” or “look if you’re not into this lmk and i can stop trying” as a takeaway here. Any thoughts?

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Looking back, I think it's a small possibility that that de-incentivised her, though still a possibility. She seemed still down after you said it but you never know if it may have manifested later. I think a bigger mistake was your scheduling. After throwing out the first time, which she rejected, you threw out another time, which she again rejected, and then yet again, which she rejected for third time. The thing with this, is that it not only makes you look too eager and available, but it generates negative compliance momentum (she gets used to saying no). Instead, you should have asked her schedule and seen when she's free. I'm quite certain this was what put her off, though you can never be 100% unless you actually ask the girl directly and even then, she might not verbalise the true reason and instead give some rationalisation.

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Hmm, you might be right now that I think of it. Bc we were sexting so soon I wanted to get her out ASAP to convert the positive momentum. She never replied to the “if you’re too nervous” takeaway from the other day so I’ll hit her with the harsher “lmk so i can stop trying” takeaway later today.

Saying that though, should I actually have used the harsh takeaway earlier instead of the softer one?

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No no, definitely the softer one first. That harsh one is last resort. You don't want to assert harsh boundaries too quickly cos it makes you look overreactive/butthurt.

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