Some things have been bugging me a lot since the breakup including that she was really into me just a few days before we broke up. She bought an extra plane ticket to end her family vacation early to see me because she missed me so much, told me how she loves me and all she wants is to live with me somewhere, and just a few days later she ended it over fights she started. And pretty regularly I've been ruminating about things, wondering if e.g. she broke up with me because she felt she had to choose between living with me in another city or live with her family here in SF (which would be silly because I might even stay in SF), or because I told her I wanted her to be my gf and she interpreted that as more serious than I meant, etc So I'm thinking meeting up to talk might help me get a better picture of what happened and feel better about how we're parting ways (it was an abrupt breakup with no contact which also feels weird). Ngl 20% of me also hopes for an extension of our relationship but 80% of me just wants to at least talk some things out to understand better. But idk how to word it in a way that doesn't make me look like a beta fag (Ignore the texts in the screenshot, those are from months ago and we only broke up a month ago) Also. Not even sure I do wanna message her. The emotions come and then go in waves, and in the more sober moments I realize I'm possibly just forgetting female nature, hypergamy, that the real answer is maybe just that she branch swung (or intended to) because e.g. my RMV wasn't as high in her eyes as my SMV (hence why from the start she seemed to just wanna be fuckbuddies even though we ended up falling for each other), or that I showed neediness near the end which drove her away, and there might not be much deeper answers to be found. Just like neediness will drive a girl away before you start dating and there's not much more to it if a girl ghosts you after a needy text. Just feels weirder when it happens while the girl is really in love with you. But I guess love and hypergamy don't always fall in line with each other
4 Posts (+1), 18 Cmts (+11)
let us know how it goes
108 Posts (+4), 315 Cmts (+4)
Met up today. Talked about the reasons behind the breakup, for her it was just the fights really bothered her way more than they bothered me. Like apparently she felt nauseous at one point from a fight. I meditated 2 hours today before meeting up with her so I was feeling pretty solid / abundant / stable, and was able to approach the convo from an unreactive standpoint and non-biasedly talking to her about the issues we had.
There was light kino / sexual tension from the start (e.g. arms brushing as we walked) so I sensed something might happen. (I also went into it hoping something would happen, and put myself in a headspace of how I'd game a girl on a first date, feeling like the shit, kinda alpha-lover headspace too. But combined with being my authentic self.) Ended up at some point with my arm resting against her body, then my arms around her from the back saying I was just using her for heat (but at that point our cheeks were touching, lots of sexual tension), went for the kiss but she said no, then we talked more (about the options we have: friends, no contact, friends w benefits, etc) while the sexual tension was still there and we ended up making out and then she got really wet and she ended up coming with me to my place to fuck. Lmfao
And luckily I happened to have 1 single condom on me by chance so we were able to fuck with no issues. Good sesh too, lasted a long time. We won't "date" again but we may be FWB, or maybe not, who knows, but either way: