A hot girl started following me on IG after a concert I had with my band. She opened me and I kept it cool. I even forgot to answer one of her messages. She opened me a second time a few days later after I posted a shirtless pic on my stories. I asked her out and she said yes. Although she forgot to respond once or twice during the week, she wasn't flakey about our date. Everything went great, we made out for hours and we both felt a connection. She asked me what I liked in bed while we were making out. I told her I like putting my fingers in a girl's mouth while I fuck her and she told me she likes being submissive. I could have taken things further but I couldn't have sex at the moment due to a medical condition. I was open to her about this because I didn't want her to think I was not escalating due to fear. She said that she wanted to see me again and then she asked me not to ghost her. She even invited me to a party but I couldn't go because of my job. I had surgery so I could have sex again. Recovery time takes from 4 to 6 weeks so I was not going to be able to see her during this time. This girl has an OF account. I payed $15 just to see what her profile was like. She only posts sexy pictures on lingierie, no nudes. The thing is, this girl seemed shy and introverted in RL but she was very slutty on her social media. Some guys wrote some nasty comments on her Tik Tok and she seemed to enjoy it so I decided to sext her, big mistake. We started talking about sex in general and she seemed pretty fine with it. I told her that I could do things to her that she wasn't going to get anywhere else. She replied this "???" I described me getting hard with her sitting on my lap while I kissed her neck. I also told her that I was going to slowly undress her and put my fingers in her pussy until she got wet. She asked me if I was ok. She then told that she didn't want to have sex with me and that she was already sleeping with someone else. I told her that I was sorry about misreading the conversation and that I didn't mean to disrespect her. Then I told her that I didn't want to date someone that plays with my emotions and that I wished the best for her and her partner. She blocked me on whatsapp but she still follows me on IG. I know that I should just move on but this girl was a perfect 10 for me and I really want to fuck her. I don't care if she sleeps with other guys because I'm ok with casual and open relationships. So I think I have two options here: 1-Waiting a couple of weeks for things to cool down. Send her a DM apologizing again by explaining to her that I confused her social media person with her real life person and asking her to stay friends. Pros: If she thought I only wanted her for sex this might change her mind. Cons: If she thought I was needy I'm basically digging my own grave here. 2-Build passive attraction through instagram stories (I date other women and travel a lot, also, my band's IG keeps getting bigger) and wait for her to message me. Pros: She might comeback without me having to chase her which is consistent with the "rockstar" frame I had before. Cons: She might think I'm a predator and she seeing me with other women might convince her that I'm only looking for sex.
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39 Posts (+5), 37 Cmts (+5)
Honestly reading this it seems like you've made a big mistake on the advances. It's hard to change the frame after you've created the image she doesn't like in her head already. I would suggest moving on but if you're really into her like you say, I would try to use her own frame against her. Jealousy maybe, make her rethink her own doings by presenting yourself as the epitome of her OF and other man by being the alpha male her subconscious knows she wants again. It's complicated but small chance it could bring you back to a place where you can start again
1 Post (+0), 13 Cmts (+7)
Yeah, I found the rockstar frame to be really powerful, but it's hard to live up to it sometimes lol.
Either the girl gets dissapointed if you show any neediness at all because it doesn't match her expectations or she thinks you just want to fuck her once and leave forever.
I only dated a girl as hot as her once before so it's hard not to get attached and I never dated a girl with OF before so I also got insecure about that.
The most frustrating part is knowing that I only needed to act normal to get a second date with her but I messed it up by trying to "game" her.
I definitely need to work on my inner game. Lesson learned.
Ps: She doesn't know I payed for her OF.
39 Posts (+5), 37 Cmts (+5)
Don't be so hard on yourself, there are plenty of fish to go around. Also don't get in the flow of becoming insecure, even from an OF. That is a no for your game. As for her expectations, you must be the one to set this, you must ultimately dominate her frame. Girls want it, and they want it hard. Sometimes literally, so if you prance around her VJ with middle school tacts you will be dooming yourself. Maybe now your game should be to get to know her, her goals, desires. That is your ultimate goal with her anyways. This will probably get you closer than being a f*ckboy as you can build something on it. Good luck to you Brother.