So I was on a tinderdate. We had been writing on tinder for a couple weeks but due to both of us being busy we couldn't meet up until now. The style of texting was mostly banter and soft sexualisations (through innuendos) and she was looking forward to it, so all good so far. We met at a bar really close to me, said hi and hugged, started out by playing a quick game of shuffleboard, both had a lot of fun, a lot of banter and both physically escalating and touching each other. After the game I suggest we go sit at the sofa in the corner and chat, she agrees. (at this point It's extremely on) We go sit there, she sits next to me, basically as close as possible (the sofa had a bit of a funky shape with pillow seperations at the shoulder part, which made it hard to physically escalate through hands like I would normally do), so I instantly get our legs touching instead and we start talking, she keeps her leg there for a very long time and has a very open body language so all good so far. Now... we talk and for some reason we had A LOT more in common than I thought and I guess I started seeing more potential and got in my head. it was due to creepy amounts of coincidental things we had in common. Examples: When we met I asked where she studied. And apparently she is studying the exact same thing as me, same place, same courses, I just finished my studies half a year ago. (it's not a common nor' well known study, hence the odd coincidence). Then she told me she did martial arts, like me. She told me she listened to "all kinds of music" and I did a takeaway and said eh, everyone says that, it's boring and asked for favorite band. And her favorite band is my favorite metal band (I did in no way expect her to be into metal at all). And the list goes on with multiple things like this. It must've got me in my head and nervous (wasn't nervous at all until now). After a while I then tried to sexualize the conversation to escalate, but for some reason the conversation just kept going down non-sexual paths even tho we both held strong eye contact and she was clearly still into me. I tried to get close and touch her face/neck a bit, but I felt the angle we were sitting at made it seem sudden and aggressive if I were to just straight up go for the makeout, so I whimped out. We decided it had gotten late and we'd walk part of the way home before splitting up. So I thought, this is my chance, take her hand, and kiss her during it... She came from school to the date so she had bags in both her hands (so that fck'd the idea of holding hands and going from there). At the end when we split I was gonna go for the kiss but realized she was lik 40 cm shorter than me and again I felt it would just seem off to go for it and we hugged and said we'd meet at my place next time and we both had fun. So.... WTF... I suddenly whimped out like a 13 year old.. is it at all salvageable or did I just completely butcher all attraction? When we went for the goodbye hug I could actually tell she was disappointed that I didn't go for the kiss and I instantly thought "F*CK!" Texted after to say it was fun and ask if she got home safe. She said yeah it was really fun, she was home safe and asked if I got home aswell. The day after I invite her to my place for the drinks we spoke of and asked what her calendar was like the next week. She said she sadly can't this next week due to exams on friday (I knew she had that exam and she is also very nerdy with her studies, so seems like an actual fair excuse). I guess getting in my head made my brain melt... she didn't respond to my last text so I guess I was right in feeling I fck'd it up. I am thinking of maybe just hitting her with "Hey, was thinking about our date and man... the amount of things we had in common was so over the top it was almost weird so it kinda baffeled me, but I am honestly up for giving it another shot if you are" (not sure about the wording but I guess you get the gist of it) Either that or try to set it up again after her exams and just brush off the ignore (she could be busy with exams, but doubt that's the reason, we're on day 3 since the no reply) Any suggestions on how to move on and is it at all salvageable? This is the first chick in a very long time I actually saw potential for something longterm with. Sorry for wall of text, any advice or suggestions appreciated!
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393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
Your suggestion would be extremely needy and very over the top. Remember this, no matter what you send her, her initial impression after the first date is not going to change.
"I'd love to see you again. But if you're not into that, lmk" in 5 days from now (since she has her exams right now)
5 Posts (+0), 16 Cmts (+3)
Update... She just wrote back and continued from where we left of. I do still find it hard to believe she was that busy for 4 days, so guessing attraction dropped... But considering she hasn't ghosted or actively written me off I'm guessing I still have a shot. You think I'm reading the situation right?
So now the question is, do I write what u wrote or just continue the natural flow of the convo and push for 2nd date asap to escalate things properly this time?
393 Posts (+1.3K), 15K Cmts (+5.3K)
I would just let the conversation flow and set up a date
5 Posts (+0), 16 Cmts (+3)
Thanks a lot Alex, yeah it totally makes sense. Guess she got me back into needy-land heh